


your hand in mine

by incoherentMutterer



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13830342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incoherentMutterer/pseuds/incoherentMutterer
Summary: Shu and Nazuna's relationship, and a bit of character study, told from Shu's perspective. (Lots of fawning over niichan, because I'm biased.)





	your hand in mine

**Author's Note:**

> on monday, february 26th, 2018, i felt god's presence. amen.  
> (if you count the times "nito" and "shu" are written in this fic, it totals down to 21 each, which is how many times i've cried per hour since the event announcement. it's also 42 combined which is the meaning of life so there's that i guess. god bless shunazu.)

Nito was an essential presence in his life.

His eyes, his hair, his skin, his touch, his expression; everything was so delicate and pure, his essence never once corrupted even after all he had gone through — Nito was the living embodiment of the word _perfect_ , a textbook definition: he was the most beautiful and captivating person in this entire world. He was the one who inspired him to create - the one who made him human. Even Shu Itsuki himself wasn't worthy of receiving attention from someone as immaculate and divine as him.

The common masses who referred to Nito as simply "cute" were ludicrous — Nito was far more than that, a person blessed by God with prodigious talent; his brazen personality and harsh ideals that contrasted with his adorable,  _heavenly_  appearance, poisonous words said in the sweetest of voices: an overwhelming confidence, capable of infatuating anyone who truly had the joy of getting to know him.

Nito was someone he could trust — Nito shared his way of thinking, didn't change himself to meet society's expectations, wasn't afraid to speak his mind —, but first and foremost, he was someone who could  _deal_ with him. Shu could be unbearable at times, overzealous and far too ambitious, blinded by his love and unreasonably high standards for perfection, and Nito was always by his side, reminding him that he, too, was merely human, despite how easy it may be to forget that fact.

Nito had always treated him as an equal — unlike everyone else, he teased Shu, called him out on his mistakes, critiqued his works —; he'd never looked at him with disgust, calling him various names in his head as he turned away — the way many people did, when they learned he enjoyed sewing and playing with dolls —, nor did he tremble in fear in his presence — "It's bizarre, the way he thinks everything should be perfect", they said, muttering amongst themselves when Shu walked by, "I heard he treats people like objects, like they're his mannequins or something" —, so when he started to shy away from the world, speaking less and less with each passing day, Shu was lost.

  
Without Nito next to him, he was nothing; he didn't notice at first, the way Nito had stopped voicing his thoughts, thinking it was merely something temporary, but as time went on, the distance between them grew so long that it didn't even feel like Nito was there anymore. How long had it been since he'd last heard that cherubic laugh? What good is it to spend your days with someone who doesn't have anything to say to you? Nito was perfect, yes, more beautiful than any doll out there, but he loved him as a living being: loved it when he laughed at Shu's expense, when he would speak with disgust of those who acquired fame through their money rather than by talent and hard work, loved it when he would start singing out of the blue, absent-mindedly, while doing a simple task.  
He didn't know this quiet Nito who was afraid of making mistakes, wasn't sure how to deal with his submission - Nito had always been the one who kept him sane, bringing him back to earth when he got too lost in his fantasies.

Without someone to keep him anchored, Shu ended up letting himself be captivated by the concept of dominance, of being in control — he started to manipulate Nito, monitoring his every step. His voice was changing, and it didn't reach the same notes as it did before, so he couldn't sing live, lest he err before the audience who expected nothing but perfection from Valkyrie, the school's best and most beloved unit. Everything had to be flawless, and Shu was enabled to think like this, both by Nito, who didn't seem to have the strength to speak up anymore, and by Kagehira, who joined soon after, and who seemed to think the world of him. He couldn't disappoint his fans, nor his unit mates, and he most definitely couldn't disappoin himself; even if they were suffering, even if they felt like they were merely playing out characters, feeling out of place inside their own bodies, they had to perform and entertain, as if they were soulless puppets pulled by the strings of those who watched them.

In result of that, Shu became cold and cynical, even moreso than he was before — he didn't have time for those who were anything less than perfect, couldn't care less about the critics that were whispered around the hallways, rumors bering spread from class to class. So what if he treated Nito and Kagehira as if they were his dolls? They were flawless, and that's all that mattered. No matter how damaged their minds might be, as long as their bodies showed no harm and their performances presented no fault, nothing else was important. Valkyrie was his greatest creation, his most beloved work; and nothing could ever destroy it, because he made sure every movement was meticulously calculated, leaving no room for errors.

Until that fateful Iive, on the day everything came to an end.

Suddenly, as they performed, the sound stopped, and they were exposed to all of the school, thought of as a fraud by every single one of the students, who scoffed at them with disdain. "I told you, they have no real talent!", people commented as they walked away, feeling smug about Shu's failure, happy for feeling as though they were right. "I should've known it was all a farce."

On that day, despite his frustration, despite being filled with so much anger and sadness that he felt like he would start crying in front of the entire audience, embarrassing himself forever and ruining his reputation so much that people would forget about him, Shu felt alive for the first time in a long while.

On that day, Shu sang with all of his might, tears prickling at the back of his eyes as he Iistened to Nito and Kagehira's voices, out of tune, desperately trying to cling on to what once was Valkyrie, to the love they had for what they shared, to the dream that was barely still alive, rapidly being consumed by the flames of humiliation - their pleas drowned out by the fervent booing and hateful comments. He thought of when they spent the whole afternoon handing out pamphlets for their live, finally reuniting on the evening with tired but genuine smiles on their faces, and he held on, giving it his all to finish the show, thinking of the precious moments they had once shared.

On that day, Shu felt alone and weak, with no place to belong, and nowhere to run.

On that day, Nazuna felt like he had no regrets, like he finally could be himself, and he felt free.

On that day, Mika knew he had to do something: if Shu couldn't take of Valkyrie by himself, then he would, protecting that hope with his life until Shu could stand on top again.

On that day, Shu and Nazuna's Valkyrie ended, giving start to a new era.

* * *

 "...Itsuki. Itsuki." Shu was brought back to reality as he felt Nito's gentle touch on his cheek, wiping away his tears that had soundlessly fallen, hitting the table before them.

Beneath the yellow light of the old restaurant where they used to dine together after Iives, Nito looked at him with patience, and Shu's heart stilled for a moment. "Is it something you wanna talk about?" he asked, a bit uncertainly — despite being much closer now than they were at the beginning of the year, there was still a certain distance between them, some lines they didn't dare to cross just yet. Shu's tears threatened to fall again.  
"I will." Shu managed to reply, ignoring the lump on his throat. He had to be firm, for his own sake. "But not now. Let us enjoy our dinner."  
"Yeah." Nito smiled brightly - a sight so beautiful and inspiring, one that he hadn't seen in ages, one that made his heart ache with guilt -, and reached out across the table, interlacing their fingers and gripping them firmly when Shu tentatively extended his hand. "We have time."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading all the way through the end....!!! this is the first fic i've finished in like.... forever, and i know it isn't perfect (especially the pacing...), but i felt inspired by this beautiful event... i'm sorry it's not too shippy, but rest assured, shunazu is my biggest love  
> feedback is always appreciated!!! sorry if the formating is a little weird bc i'm on mobile... if you wanna talk about shunazu or any idol stuff, please hmu on twitter @ yuutashun!!


End file.
